Sunday, March 7, 2010

Theories Schmeories

Stupid parenting theories...bottom line nobody knows what the heck they are doing so they make up a theory based on what worked for them and that is relative. I mean did it or is it REALLY working if you are sending your kid a negative message about marriage and their ability to cope in life without you?

I listen to many parents say things like "this is what is best for my child"...or... "this is what makes them happy", but from where I'm sitting I have to ask myself whether or not that is true.  Is it really best for them and what makes them happy, or is it what makes that particular parent happy.  I mean if sleeping with your child is best for your child does that mean that NOT sleeping with your husband and having time to connect with them is also BEST for your child.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that so many parents try to live through their children and project their own emotions onto their child.  The PARENT wants to cuddle with their child so they say their child needs to sleep with them. So the parent is the one benefiting and not the child because the child does not learn how to sleep independently and the child believes mommy and daddy do not need time alone together that is sacred and cherished.

I really believe every parent should ask themselves this question whenever they are making decisions about how to handle their child, "What message am I sending my child?" It is important for me to always send the message to Lainey that her daddy and I love her, but just as important we love each other and we are family.  Our family does not revolve around HER, our family revolves around her, daddy, and mommy.  All of us are in this together and all of our needs are equally important in the equation.  She is PART of our family and not THE family. 

That being said, on one side people say attachment parenting is best and that babywise could harm your child psychologically.  AND of course on the otherside babywise claims the same about attachment parenting.  Again I say do what you think is best for your FAMILY.  Not for you, not just for your child...for your FAMILY. Hopefully, I'm right in saying that but I guess we'll just have to see in 25 years how my Laineybug turns out.  I have a feeling though that no matter what she will be just fine because she is very loved and cared for and at the end of the day isn't that what counts?

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